Find a nice dungeon instead.

A short story for The Glitterdoom Wastes, the level I have been making for the Death by Dungeon community project.

Image by aodemir deviantart.

Lorn drank straight from the crystal decanter, draining the sparkling blue wine. He slammed it down on the table, bouncing Glum’s head where it lay on the surface and knocking crystal cups onto the stone floor, where they shattered into shards. Glum lifted his face, opening one heavy-lidded eye to stare at the warrior.

‘What’s a dwarf to do around here for some rest?’

‘You are a disgrace to your Dwarven heritage, Glum. I thought you stunted people could drink!’

‘Bah, this swill ain’t ale. Crystal wine does naught but make me bone-tired and gives me a devilish headache. If you are smart, boy, you will stop drinking. At dawn, we enter the wasteland.’

‘Ahhh, the feared wasteland. Yeah, I heard the stories, but the wasteland hasn’t met us, Glum, and I doubt those words of deluded fools are laced with truth.’

Tamiza turned her glazed eyes upon her young companion. ‘Don’t mock what you know nothing about, Lorn; cockiness will get us all killed.’

From the shadowy archway beside the bar top, a figure ambled into the candlelight with a broom and bucket in hand.

The man caught Lorn’s attention as he approached, his hunched body swaying side to side unsteadily. Lorn noticed one leg was shorter than the other and that if this stranger stood at full height, he would easily loom over most men. His hooded cloak hid most of his face except for pale features and long, stringy chestnut hair. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, showing heavily scarred forearms. It was the large hump on the man’s body that most interested Lorn. It bulged and seemed to move beneath the heavy material. Without a word, the hunched man began to sweep the broken crystal into the bucket. He paused at the table beside Lorn as he finished, and Lorn could hear the rattle of his wheezing breath.

Lorn scrunched up his face in distaste at the nearness of the hunched man. He turned back to Tamiza, ignoring the poor wretch. If he wanted silver for his efforts, he had come to the wrong table.

‘With my fighting prowess, your magic, and Glum’s hammer, I’m sure we will make short work of any dangers we encounter.’

‘When you settle the tab, be so kind as to pay for the damage,’ the hunchback said from his position beside Lorn.

Lorn sighed loudly, rolled his eyes, and shooed away the nuisance with a hand.

A low chuckle came from the hunchback as he placed a hand on Lorn’s shoulder.

‘Find a nice little dungeon instead,’ he said, then patted Lorn on the back and began to shuffle away.

‘What did you say, freak? I need no advice from a simpleton like yourself!’

The hunched man stopped and began to turn. Lorn smiled. He let his hand slide to the hilt of his sword, which lay on the tabletop. This was about to get interesting.

The moment was broken as the bar wench slid a tray of fresh drinks onto the table.

‘A word of advice, friends. Don’t anger Kael. It’s his establishment, and he doesn’t take kindly to insults.’

Glum felt a chill run over his body at the name. He glanced around at the sword on the wall behind the bar, scrunching his eyes to read the single word on the plaque: Vortex. Then Glum knew who the hunched figure was.

‘Kael Vortex Vordrak.’

‘The one and only,’ replied the wench, collecting the empty glasses.

As she finished, the hunched man, now identified as Kael Vordrak, slid into the one empty chair, his large body overflowing the seat beside Lorn.

‘Nobody here invited you to join us,’ Lorn snarled. He moved to draw his sword, but a large hand closed over the hilt and his hand, holding it firm. Lorn pushed his chair back to gain room and stand but couldn’t move. He glanced down and saw the large leg tucked behind the back chair leg, holding him in place. An insult rolled to the edge of his tongue, but the pain as his fingers were crushed against the sword hilt replaced it with a squeal.

‘So, yer all accomplished adventurers, hey?’

The three companions stared back at him in silence.

‘Looking to make yerselves wealthier than a king, return with tales of valour? I’m telling ye that the wastes is no place for you.’

‘What would you know about us or the Glitterdoom Wastes?’ Lorn snarled, wincing at the pain in his hand, still held firm by Kael.

‘Is it true that out of your party of eight, you were the only one to walk out of the wastes?’ Glum asked.

Kael shook his head. ‘That’s not correct. One of us never even made it past the Obelisks. He saw enough in them to send him mad. We lost another two in the first morning. Large leeches that will drain you dry to a husk caught them unawares as they frolicked in a pile of illusory treasure. They panicked and stumbled into a ring of trees laden with crystal fruit, where a large snake bit them. Both became delirious with the infection, muttering about a cave holding a fortune that they had to go to. We tried to stop them but let them go after another of our friends was gut-stabbed.

Now, we numbered five. We entered an area where everything floated and came across the Eagle Knight, high above us, shouting challenges. Our best warrior fell to his blade, and the injuries sustained just reaching the Eagle Knight high above us. His body fell to land at our feet, broken.

Dehydrated after goblins stole our waterskins at night, we came to a pool where the most beautiful music and singing I have ever heard filled our ears. Our mage drank her fill and sat there talking to something we couldn’t see. She dove into the water before we could stop her and never resurfaced.

The four of us continued. We found that the crystal fruits hanging from trees refreshed us and gave us abnormal vitality, but they had side effects. The skin of my chest began to harden, turning to smooth crystal in which strange sights could be seen, not unlike the surfaces of the damned obelisks. Our rogue’s body became translucent, making him vulnerable to the sun.

Two days later, we lost another member after examining a strange metallic item we sensed was not from this world. Our healer’s limbs swelled and began to rot. I suspect it resulted from touching the strange metal object we had found. He died later when ghosts rose from the sand, dragging him beneath the shifting sea of sand around us.

Near death, we encountered a clan of dwarves who saved and sheltered us in their home by a mineshaft. We paid back their kindness by helping them search for the ghosts of their kin but realised it was a doomed mission, and in the night, we fled. Resting in a small glade or coral trees, we awakened to centaurs with bows trained upon us. Bound and gagged, they took us to a village where we were looked after well. Then, we were taken beneath the earth to a chamber where the stink of sulphur burned our noses. I could feel this was the place of a powerful creature, but being blindfolded, I knew not what being rested there. An Elven woman spoke to us of serving the great Drakara, whoever that was, and necklaces were placed upon us. My last two companions fell to the charm of that jewellery and begged to serve. I was lucky. Many years ago, my father, who knew much about magic, especially the ancient art of flesh melding, put a talisman beneath my skin that would allow me to shake off any charm-like magic effects. At night in the village, I managed to escape.

I took with me water and weapons and found my way to a goblin camp. It was twilight, and the harsh words of a shaman cut through the silence. All about the shaman, the goblins knelt, arms raised to the sky. Then, in the strange light, I could see a monstrous form of what looked like a cockroach but was as big as a temple. The goblins began to wail and praise the strange being, and I saw many of them were mutated. I have learned the language of goblins in my travels, and they were shouting obeisance to the Purple Roach. I kept moving day and night, hoping to reach the end of the damned wastes. I hid from a terrifying tree of spikes that marched across the land. I survived a storm of bones, fought and survived encounters with goblins, crazed dogs, and winged apes. I conversed with spirits of the dead in a great graveyard and was rewarded with enough wealth for me to build this tavern you sit within now. Twelve days after entering the wastes, I escaped.

The hell I had been through was not finished with me. My back began to grow a second torso with short, sharp limbs, and strange voices whispered through my mind. I find myself some nights encased within webbing like a strange man spider. Whatever has grown upon me is like a spider's abdomen, from which alien arms weave silk webs from its spinneret glands.

Finally, Kael fell silent. He reached out for Lorn’s drink and finished it in one gulp.

Lorn began to laugh. ‘Well, if nothing else, you do weave a great story of bullshit.’

‘Is that so?’ Kael said. He suddenly stood, causing the three companions to shrink away from his tall form. Kael unclasped his greatcoat, letting it fall away. He unbuttoned the silk tunic he wore, and as it fell to the stone, the companions saw something they would never forget.

Kael’s chest was indeed crystal, and within its depths, a scene coalesced. Lightning forked from a bloodied sky, illuminating a desperate battle below of warriors in furs with shields of silver fighting strange, mutated beasts. The scene shifted to a muddy graveyard being pummelled by heavy rain. Skeletal figures clawed from their wet graves to stand about a woman covered in glowing blue fungi who screamed into the storm. She turned around to look directly at the companions and began to laugh.

Thankfully, the scenes stopped as Kael turned away from the companions so they could see his back and the bulbous growth of a spider’s abdomen, from which eight shorter limbs twitched.

The companions would have fled then, but fear, as they had never known, kept them stuck in their seats.

Kael bent and gathered his clothing. He slowly donned his garments and then turned hard eyes on all three companions one by one.

‘Go find yourself a nice little dungeon. The Glitterdoom Wastes are not for the likes of you.’